Roonil Wazlib and Slytherin's Hidden Food Stash
by Radeon Potter
Summary: Roonil Wazlib's second year in the Hogwashers' School Of Dangerous Magic Tricks and Dark Wizards, and people are being turned into stone! How will Roonil, and his friends Parry Otter and Hermaninny Stranger protect the world from the rising of Lord Bogeytort, and save his sister, Rumera Wazlib, from Bogeytort's evil hands? What will the headmaster, Schoolbus Doubledoor do? AU CoS.
1. Teh HOLLOW

Roonil Wazlib was waiting. His best friend, Parry Otter, saviour of the Muggle world, was supposed to arrive at his house, The Tree Hollow. Their other friend, Hermaninny Stranger, would be arriving ten days later with the headmaster of their school, Hogwashers' – Schoolbus Doubledoor. Suddenly, the there was a knock on the garage door, through which Parry had entered his house for the first time, in their Muggle broomstick with his brothers, Gred and Forge Wazlib.

Hurrying to the garage and opening the door, Roonil saw his friend standing, on the back of his hand a scar, shaped like a cloud. He'd got that when Justin Bieber, the most frightening singer in the world, had tried to sing to him. The singing powers had not killed Parry, but rebounded on Justin to free the Muggle world of another evil Lord.

"Hey, there, Roon! How're you doin'?" Parry asked.

"Parry! Ol'boy have I missed you!" Roon's sister, Rumera, replied.

"Rummy! How awesome to have my future wife in front of my famous eyes again!"

Just then, Prissy Wazlib called from upstairs, "What's got you idiots so worked up!? The cauldron bottoms are too thin! I gotta thicken them in COMPLETE SILENCE!"

**A/N: It's short, but do you like it? If so, I'll be updating it.**

**PS: The names Roonil, Wazlib, Gred, Forge, Parry, Otter and the cauldron bottoms belong to J.K. Rowling.**

**PPS: The name Prissy belongs to Rick Riordan (from the Percy Jackson series).**


	2. Teh KIDDISH

Roon and Parry had a lot of fun over the holidays. They played Roon, Parry, Forge and Gred's favorite sport: Kiddish.

Kiddish was a very fun sport, played on enchanted flying cars. There were 3 players in every team. There was a Quaffler, who threw the Chase, an enchanted Muggle football, and tried to get them through the 90183910284032432478293 hoops, which were protected by the Lifesaver. For each goal scored a team would get 0.1 points.

Then there was the Bludger, who carried the Bludger racket, used to hit the Beaters around. The Beaters were black enchanted Muggle tennis balls which hit players' cars.

The most important player, however, was the Snitch. The Snitch had to find the Philosopher's Stone, a tiny enchanted Muggle India-rubber ball, which flew around the stadium at breakneck speed. The Snitch, if he caught the Stone, won his team 1.5 points, nearly always winning the game.

Parry, being the saviour of the world he was, had a special Nissan 350Z racing car. Roon, on the other hand, had an old, spluttering Chevrolet Malibu. Just as they were finishing their 3447th match of Kiddish, a voice sounded through the pitch.

"Oi, Roon! It's your girlfriend, Hermaninny!"

Roon drove his car to his house, finding his mother, Jolly Wazlib, standing next to Roon's soon-to-be girlfriend, Hermaninny Stranger.

"H-hh-hi-i-iii-i,-,-,,-, H-e-r-rrr-mman-iin-nn-ninn-yy..."

Hermaninny shrieked. "OMG YOU'RE STUTTERING! YOU GOTS BOGEYTROT ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD WHEN HARRY TOUCHES YOU YOU'LL DIE THEN WHERE WILL I GET ANOTHER BOYFRIEND?!" And she promptly started wailing.

Parry went to her. "Cheer up, Herman, there's always Victory Karma!"

Victory Karma was the world's most famous Kiddish player. He was Hermaninny's ex-boyfriend, before Hermaninny had fell for Roon.

Roon looked at Parry. "I won't die when I touch you, right Parry?"

Parry looked thoughtfully at Roon. "Oh, I don't know Roon, every person who's stuttered before me always ended up dead..."

Roon screamed and ran away with the cries of, "MY BEST FRIEND'S GONNA KILL ME! STOP HIM! TORTURE HIM, MAKE HIM GO TO THE LIBRARY, SHUT HIM IN A ROOM WITH PRISSY, I DON'T CARE! BLOODY STOP HIM!"

Prissy shouted from his room, "SHUT YOUR TRAP OR I'LL USE MY CAULDRON-BOTTOM-THICKENING SPELL ON YOU!"

Parry was brave enough to shout back, "DO WHAT YOU WANT, WE DON'T CARE, _PERCY!_"

Prissy stormed down. "PERCY!? YOU CALLED ME PERCY!? YOU'LL PAY, OTTER! _BOTTOMUS THICKENUPO!_"

Parry opened his mouth in shock as his buttocks, twice as heavy as him, now, caused him to fall down and faint.

**A/N: Poor Parry. :( Review if you want Prissy punished! **


	3. Teh BREAKFAST

Other than what the Bronze Trio now referred to as the "Prissy" incident, and the fact that the bottom of all of Prissy's cauldrons were mysteriously turned into books about potions and how they made hair greasy, everything went nicely during the holidays. As the morning approached, the sun rose from the west and everyone in the Wazlib family, plus Parry, woke up to go for shopping in the Dragon Alley.

"Rise and shine, idiots! We get the books today!" Prissy called, always excited about books and cauldrons.

"SHUT UP, PRISSY! IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING!" Prissy's dad, Author yelled.

"I DON'T CARE! GET UP OR I'LL TURN YOUR BATTERIES INTO BROOMSTICKS!"

"NO, NO, PLEASE, DON'T DO THAT! I'M GETTING UP!"

Author appeared, sleepily coming down the stairs and rubbing his eyes. Unfortunately for him, Gred and Forge had placed a Bungdomb on the last stair, so by the time he entered the breakfast table, the entire house was stinking like Prissy's underarms.

Everyone appeared rather quickly after that, and by eight, everyone was up and had finished breakfast. Author and Jolly introduced Parry to Flu powder.

"Just sneeze in, put some Flu powder, step in, and name one of the 389084989538987459670458690358 places you would like to go to. Of course, one can easily get lost, exit through the wrong fireplace, and whatnot." Mr. Wazlib snorted. "Like whatnot could happen. I'm 99% sure you won't end up anywhere else."

Parry looked at him nervously. "99%? Only? I saved the Muggle world from Bieber, mind you. They'd kill you if they lost their saviour, then you'd be an outcast like my aunt and uncle who treat me like their personal slave."

"Relax, Parry, look, everyone else will do it first."

One by one, everyone went in, and vanished in the amber-colored fire, unlike the usual green in the Muggle world.

Only Jolly was left, and she said, "In you go, Parry!"

Parry sneezed, stepped in, and shouted, "PENGUIN ALLEY!" hoping for the worst.

He wasn't disappointed.

**A/N: Dun Dun DUN!**

**Be prepared. The Malfoys are coming! Oh, and you can't guess what name I have in store for them. :EVILGRINTHATWILLFRIGHTENVOLDYANDDESTROYALLHISHORC RUXES:**


End file.
